2) I started learning the guitar 3 days ago. I have always wanted to create music but hated the prospect of sucking at it a long time before being good. After having Kyle reignite that desire a few days back and being isolated in Haiti where no can hear how terrible I am, lessons have officially begun. My fingers hurt yet this has not deterred me from beginning work on my first track from my EP entitled “Live from Cabaret”…
3) I have noticed a reoccurring trend in my life recently. Every time I align and perfect all my doings and priorities and get settled into this nice lil’ comfortable Jeremy nest- it gets knocked over. Depending on how long I have been building my nest, sometimes it gets tipped over with a little shove and other times it just utterly wiped out by a cyclone riding a tidal wave (imagine that for a second...). And I never get a heads up either, just out of nowhere, SMASH, my comfy nest empire collapses.
That’s a lot of metaphors but what does that actually mean. I just can’t seem to get comfortable in life and I am beginning to realize that God wouldn’t have it any other way. The phrase “it’s always something…” is beginning to take on a whole new meaning. I LOVE to just shut down my heart, set my life on cruise control, and just roll not thinking about anything. It is my biggest vice and it is the most selfish thing about me.
- I don’t really wanna take time to care about people, that’s too hard and time consuming.
- I would never want to truly open my heart and feel something because that would involve hurt, pain, anguish and sorrow.
- I can’t imagine fully seeking and following God because then I have no control AND trust me, I like having control.
That’s why I know God loves me.
He continues to crush my isolation efforts, my manipulating emotion efforts, and numbing efforts. I am soooo thankful for the interruptions I cannot handle: the hard relationships, the toughdecisions, and the dramatic and drastic experiences of life. It takes me out of my hypnotic comfort zone and reveals my distorted view of myself and this world. I literally have to cling to Jesus because everything else, mainly me, has failed.
So, here I am with another interruption in my life looking me straight in the face. At first, I just wanted to shut down and ignore it. Yet God is once again coming to my rescue and knocking down my comfort. It hurts but in seeing God’s intentions, I will embrace the uncomfortable and rejoice in the fact the God of all things is relentlessly pursuing me.